The RAFT Technique

At Southwestern Coaching, we use a technique called RAFT to help when we’re faced with life’s unexpected problems. RAFT stands for:

R — Realize an event is occurring.
A — Accept the situation.
F — Focus on the controllables.
T — Transform the negative emotion into positive momentum.

Currently, what can we control? We can control our attitude, our hygiene, where we place ourselves and social distancing, our schedule, and our effort. We can’t control external circumstances, others’ actions, rules, and government regulations. Using the RAFT technique puts the situation into perspective and helps us stay focused on our own actions.

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Types of Confidence:

False confidence:

This type of confidence says all the right things but feels wrong. It’s that friend or co-worker who always says they’re doing great and on top of things but actually feels like they can’t accomplish their goals and that everything is falling apart. It’s the type of confidence that talks a big game but is internally blocked by belief barriers, negative affirmations, and dangerous excuses.

Conditional confidence:

This type of confidence relies on external factors and is therefore easily shattered. It’s like a student attaching their intelligence to having a perfect GPA and then crumbling when they receive a B: “I guess I’m not as smart as I thought I was!” This is fertile ground for belief barriers. People often attach their self-worth to achieving particular results – even those they can’t control – which is a recipe for disappointment.

Unconditional confidence:

This type of confidence is what Alford has in mind. It’s based on your beliefs and habits, which are things you can develop and control. It’s being aware of your fallibility. You’re human and will make mistakes. But it doesn’t accept failures as the status quo. It’s unshakeable, purpose-driven, and focused confidence that operates without conditions.

So how do you develop unconditional confidence?

Let Go What You Can’t Control

Let go of things you can’t control. This frees you to focus on a few important things you can control:

Your attitude:

Positive self-talk can be used to shape your attitude, but the company you keep is equally important. Surrounding yourself with people who encourage and affirm you will go a long way in lifting your attitude. If you spend time with people who are negative and needlessly critical of your dreams, your outlook will suffer.

Your activities:

To get some oversight on how you spend your time, create a list of all of your daily activities, personal and professional. Next, put a checkmark next to the activities you have control over. These are the ones you can influence and will help you reach your goals by developing unconditional confidence.

Your schedule:

Time is the medium in which we conduct our lives. By focusing on your schedule, you gain control of your time. It’s your responsibility to teach others how to interact with you and respect your schedule. Respecting your schedule is an extension of respecting you, which also develops unconditional confidence.

Build Your Confidence With Coaching

For more on reaching your full potential, give 1:1 coaching a try! Contact us for a free consultation on how personal coaching can help you take control of your life and reach your career goals.

Faith Versus Belief

How are beliefs different than faith? Beliefs amount to value statements you identify with, like the belief that all human life has intrinsic dignity, or that the essential ingredient to a successful marriage is honesty.

Differently, faith is trust in something that has not yet happened. Take, for example, the belief that the essential ingredient to a successful marriage is honesty. That belief then gives you a roadmap for a successful marriage: maintaining honesty. But your honesty with your spouse is driven by faith that doing so will help ensure the success of your marriage.

Faith Lifters Versus Faith Busters

Think about the five people you spend most of your time with. If they spend most of their time being negative and talking about why things don’t work, then it’s likely they’re creating a bad environment for you to grow your faith. However, if they have strong, positive belief systems, they can create an effective environment to nurture your faith.

One way you can take control over the growth of your faith is to develop your own “board of directors.” Find two to five people who share your principles or spirituality, and consult with them regularly. This will give you the opportunity to let go of your pride and accept counsel from people who know you personally and share your values. They may see challenges in areas you’re unclear on and encourage you to stay the course. This, in turn, will nurture your faith.

Fortify Your Faith and Redefine Possible

To learn more about how to fortify your faith, including how to hold on to your faith through hard times, check out Redefining Possible by Ron Alford.

Define the Losing Cycle

Depending on your reaction to obstacles or challenging times, missing the mark can set you up for success or more failure. When failure perpetuates failure, you’re in a losing cycle. Here’s how this works:

1. You set goals but underdeliver (or don’t deliver at all).

2. You don’t get the results you wanted, which lowers your belief level and confidence.

3. You set smaller goals that seem more achievable. In the losing cycle, your confidence is low and you tend to focus on the negative, so you don’t try as hard to meet those new goals.

4. If you’re not trying as hard, you’ll continue to underdeliver—which starts the cycle all over again.

Reverse the Losing Cycle

At its worst, the losing cycle can cause you to completely stagnate. You won’t set goals, which means you won’t be taking action. Thankfully, you can use the following practices to break the losing cycle at any time—even if you’ve recently missed one of your goals or experienced a major setback.

1. Set goals more effectively.

As mentioned, in the losing cycle, setting smaller goals can lead you to not try as hard. With the right mindset, setting attainable daily goals can help you generate positive momentum. This will push you to set gradually bigger goals, try harder to meet those targets, and set even loftier (or longer-term) objectives.

Break the losing cycle by setting actionable goals you can reach today. Be as specific as possible. Instead of writing something like “have a good day,” for example, list what it will take to have a good day. This could be saying an affirmation a certain number of times, making a certain number of calls at work, or waking up without hitting snooze.

2. Recognize your wins.

A positive mindset will keep you moving forward. When you meet your goals or take a step in the right direction, acknowledge what you’ve accomplished. This will help you develop a habit of winning and enable you to focus more on where you’ve succeeded.

3. Mind your mentality.

Negativity can completely derail positive momentum, or keep you grounded in the losing cycle. For this reason, it’s important to have the right mindset throughout the day. Set realistic expectations for yourself. You won’t do yourself any favors if you create goals you can’t reach with your current resources. Be honest about what you can do, and be merciful if you come up short.

If you do stumble, acknowledge what happened and why. Don’t dwell on it. Reflect enough to be empowered to not make the same mistake. Then, close the door on that day and open the next one.

4. Use an accountability partner.

You breathe life into your goals when you share them with others. Text or email what you want to accomplish today to a coach or accountability partner. Then, at the end of the day, follow up to share your wins—and only your wins. This will help you hone the ability to focus on what you’re accomplishing.

Even if you’re not getting the results you expected or your professional or personal life is stuck in a rut, you can still channel that “crushing it” energy. Remember how the losing cycle works and how it can suck you in. Start your day with attainable goals, recognize what you do accomplish, and be positive and fair to yourself. For the best results, have someone you trust hold you accountable.

Work With a Pro

For more help honing your sales skills, consider giving 1:1 coaching a try! Contact us for a free consultation on how personal coaching can help you take control of your life and reach your goals.